Due to financial difficulties the past couple years, we ended up having to sell the truck. It was a sad day for sure. I love Duramax diesels and plan to get another one some day… but there’s always something special about your first truck that took the family across the country. C’est la vie. At the end of the day, the truck, as great as it was having, was just a thing.
It’s been a while, a long while since a last post to the blog. I’m (Kelly) opening up a bit on this one…
If anyone would like to know what goes on in a dad’s head when it comes to the pressure of bringing up cherished babies in this world, feeding them, nurturing them, maintaining an income to keep up in this country, having the funds to keep them healthy, fending off Caesar and his CPS, fending off cancer, etc… listen to this piece posted below, by Hans Zimmer. This piece describes what I feel being a father, tasked with a very, very important job. Listen to it with headphones on… listen to it loud – because it’s loud and intense in my mind… close your eyes and concentrate on the movements of the instruments. Concentrate on the intense stress of knowing that it’s all a race against time and that time is very quickly running out (our life is a vapor). Concentrate on the music while thinking of the pressure of providing the income, paying the mortgage and electric bill, making good decisions for a family – knowing that bad decisions could be devastating. Think of the task of protecting your family from and fending off the evil forces surrounding us; knowing the evil is intent on the destruction of the family. There’s a job that needs to be done, and done to near perfection – there’s little room for mess ups. The wrong mess up and it all comes crashing down. So many people you want to make happy. So many delicate hearts to be careful of hurting. So many fears to face and push through. So much pain to endure. Failure always nipping at your heels. The spiritual war is real. The physical life is fragile. We all know life can collapse quickly. The stakes are exponentially high.
And do it all while showing a light hearted smile, a kind heart, obedience to God, being a decent dad, being a decent husband…. and finding the strength to not collapse under the pressure.
I’m not saying this is constantly playing in my mind or any other dad’s mind, but when the pressures come, when decisions need to be made, which is often, all the above hits all at once and this tune starts up for me. I think Hans Zimmer did a fantastic job at describing the intensity of being a dad and husband in the modern times through this piece, even though that wasn’t his purpose in writing it.
Don’t bother to listen to it if music doesn’t move you – it’ll mean nothing.